My Family Is Finally Vaccinated, so I Can Let Go of the Fear I Had
- My youngest daughter got her second vaccine last week and is finally fully vaccinated.
- I feel like I’ve waited eternity for this moment and I don’t know where to go from here.
- I don’t know what our limits are right now, but we’re ready to do more.
Last week my youngest daughter received her second Photos of Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. We are now a fully vaccinated family, which is a surreal commitment.
We waited for a long time, but the opportunity to make an appointment with her came so suddenly that I didn’t hesitate. Unlike other chaotic moments during this pandemic, I have no doubt or confusion. I don’t have options that are hard to weigh.No choice, only 2 years and 1/2 years of memory lead a decision.
The coronavirus shaped her life
I remember the details – too many. COVID has portrayed too many moments in her little life: the last day of nursery, her all-important nap, her first steps—an ominous joy, her first time wearing a mask, her struggles with new friends transition. Always, the threat of disease hangs low like a dark cloud—if not directly, it indirectly affects the way we are parents, if not directly, through constant testing of our perseverance.
As a mom to this family, I find it hard to move on.
I’m grateful that I have the privilege and luck to protect my kids, but I’m deeply troubled by how many people won’t even try for us. It’s as if we’re buzzing, energy-suckers, more examples of every “once-in-a-lifetime” challenge that millennials have in adulthood.
We also long for normalcy. We also want it to end.
Parents of young children feel left behind
The epidemic is not over yet. Coming to this conclusion is a result-oriented escape that has made us parents with young children feel minimized for the past 2 and 1/2 years.
I was blown away last summer when the Biden administration declared victory over COVID, with digital confetti flying across our phones as mask regulations were lifted across the country, with little concrete information about when our kids would get the jabs .
The “back-to-office” talk — still without the option to vaccinate our children — stems from the same effort to prioritize financial incentives over American families. Both of these jobs could be achieved if our schools had the support they needed to be safe and continue to operate, but that’s not the case.
In fact, I often feel that I am a burden to society as much as our children are. We feel tolerated, not supported, by leaders, colleagues, and sometimes even our loved ones. It’s hard to rebuild trust from there. So now that the whole family is invited to the party, is there anything else to celebrate?
I don’t know what our limits are
My whole family is now vaccinated. Currently, we have a “before” and a “after” that revolves around this fact, this moment, and everything that happens next.
Our behavior is changing: we are letting go. I’m not sure what our limitations are, but I have to give us every opportunity to expand them. If not, I’ll keep my fears and resentments forever, or worse, push more fears and resentments onto my kids.
They live under these boundaries and rules all the time, but little is known about why we have them for so long. My daughters should look inside more stores, play at more friends’ houses, take trains in new places. But the shift is bigger than what they can or cannot do. I’m trying to give them something they may not even realize they’ve lost, or in my youngest case, something she never had: her entire childhood.
Now that we are here, I hope they hope, hope, and believe. Because maybe if they do, I’ll do it again.
Joel Bonnebas is a lawyer and writer. her communication, our little rebellion, celebrating the subtle victories of women to help them achieve greater gains in life.follow her Twitter.